A Baby Date and Potty Training

Well, I went into my 36 week appointment and the ultrasound showed the baby to measure about 8lb. and 5oz. with still 4 weeks to go! The technician and the doctor both told me the ultrasound measures slightly big sometimes, but not that much. My extremely large tummy and my genetic history are telling me this baby is BIG! My mom and sisters all had LARGE babies--my sister was 10lb, 10oz! Carter was only 7lb, 7oz (which his ultrasound predicted to the ounce!), but he is ALL Hawley genes, where the babies are much smaller. Micah, the baby's name if you hadn't heard, is seeming to have more Padilla genes.

So, the doctor wants to induce me on March 3rd. Hopefully the baby won't be TOO large, and I will avoid a C-section. However, my main concern is just that the baby is healthy and doesn't have any trauma or problems due to his size. I know God is in control--thank goodness!

The day before my ultrasound, my family threw me a surprise baby shower! I was so touched and excited! I had those I love best around me and had a relaxing and fun night celebrating baby Micah.

This new due date has expedited my potty training sessions with Carter. Actually, I was planning to train him after Christmas, but we were so busy! Then I decided that I would start after our coastal trip in January. Of course, that is when we all got so deathly ill for weeks on end. So, now I have 2 weeks to try and make it stick!!

Carter is doing awesome! I'm even training him while he is crabby and sick with a cold. He had one or two accidents the first two days, but he is doing awesome overall at telling me when he feels the "urge" and running to the potty. The first day I gave him too many treats, and he got a stomach ache. So, the second day he got a toy from the dollar bin at Target for having a good day of training. Today is the third day, and we are going to try an outing with big boy undies on him. We'll see if we have an accident! Enjoy the pictures, and I'll let you know more about everything as the BIG day approaches!

Book Summary: Radical Womanhood

Lately I've had a difficult time finishing some books on my reading list. However, when I picked up Carolyn McCulley's Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World, I couldn't put the book down.

This book historically looks at the three main waves of feminism, compares the agenda of each wave with Biblical truths and then quickly looks at the negative influences that feminism has had on modern church culture.

If you are like me, this book exposes the issues with much of what culture taught me as I was educated. I went to a large, secular university, where I was exposed to some Women's Studies classes. I also, if you know my story, was assaulted at knifepoint and faced an attempted rape in college. Since this happened before I was a true Christian, on several occasions I used this experience to explore feminist arguments.

After I graduated from college and became a Christian, I grew in my knowledge of God, understood the sin in all of mankind, and realized the error of much of feminist thinking. This book helped me to better understand the anti-God stance of much of feminism, to see the social repurcussions and sin as a result of some feminist movements and to see how feminist thought has crept into even today's modern church.

The first official feminist movement started with the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848. This first wave of feminism was mainly concerned with the property rights of women--most property rights were completely lost when a woman was married. It also led up to the passage of the 19th amendment in 1920, which gave women the right to vote. As you can see, there is nothing intrinsically bad with the rights women were seeking at this point. However, the first wave of feminism was led by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, who was an ardent athiest. So, though the reforms of the first wave were benign, Stanton's personal goal was to take down the authority of scripture and the way she perceived it to treat women.

The second wave of feminism was more harmful. It was delayed in the United States due to World War II and the Great Depression. This wave began in France by Jean-Paul Sartre and his partner, Simone de Beauvoir. They were one of the first popular couples to refuse to marry and who claimed monogamy wasn't natural. They were also staunch socialists and existentialists--a movement that is very similar to today's relativism movement. Simone argued that history proved that the roles of wife and mother kept women confined and imprisoned.

Betty Friedan popularized the views of Beauvoir in the United States in 1963 with the book, The Feminist Mystique. Friedan cofounded NOW (National Organization for Women) and NARAL, the pro-abortion political action group National Women's Political Caucus. This began the repurcussions of the second feminist movement, which was the freedom to choose abortion and not be tied to pregnancy and children simply because one is a woman. The right to no-fault divorce also became a repurcussion of this wave. Finally, more women entering the work force and leaving the home was a side effect too.

The third wave of feminism began in the 1990s and began the fight to redefine traditional marriage to include same sex marriage. Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, editors at MS. magazine, are leaders in this third wave. Included in this third wave of feminism is the raunch culture for women. Parading skin, sleeping around as much as posssible and being sexually uninhibited is a rally cry for many who lead this modern movement. McCulley points to the fact that this is one of the first times that traditional feminists, who rally for women not to be objects for men, disagree with the raunch culture of modern feminists.

Throughout this book, McCulley points to scripture and God's wise, loving roles for both men and women in His Word. Anything less is a rip off for women. Feminism, in its raw form, is a spiritual battle against God and what He has portioned for women in their roles as wives and mothers.

How has feminism affected the modern church? McCulley says we have let it downplay submission and roles in the Bible. We are afraid to confront the ideals of modern culture with the truths of the Bible. We allow women pastors to lead in church. Certainly, the modern church culture is timid to confront the heresies that come with feminist thought and movements.

McCulley also uses this book to show how, contrary to what feminists argue, Christ and the Bible valued women in scripture. She does a wonderful job in presenting the feminist movements objectively, helping the reader to really see historical truths behind a movement that she, ultimately, proves to be spiritual warfare.

I highly recommend this book to any woman. It clarifies the history and flaws behind a popular and widely accepted cultural movement that, whether we agree with it or not, affects many aspects of our lives.

Compromise

Each year, I follow our church's Read through the Bible in a year schedule, but this year, I am going "high-tech" and following the reading on-line. The advantage to this is that I can leave and read comments regarding the passage. I am spurred on by all the insight people leave regarding a chapter of the Bible I have read before. It is opening my eyes to new application and new ways God is teaching me His truths. If this sounds interesting to you, you can go to http://www.compasschurch.org/ and just click on Daily Bible Reading.

A few days ago, I was doing the daily Bible reading in Genesis 19. This is the story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Poor Lot is definitely not a Hebrews 11 Hall of Faith character. In fact, upon reading I was struck anew with the amount of compromised obedience he displayed to God.

It all begins back in Genesis 13, when Lot selfishly picks the choice Valley of the Jordan as his dwelling when he and Abram separate. Though the land is lush, before the sulfur and fire from heaven fall on it, it is filled with wicked, sinful cities and people--mainly Sodom and Gomorrah. "Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the LORD." (vv. 12-13)

The first compromise of Lot is that he knowingly settles in the most sinful and corrupt area of Sodom. He could have set himself apart in the valley, away from the cities, but, by the time chapter 19 happens, he is out of his tents and living in the midst of the city in a house with his family. This initial decision, that might seem a small compromise, changes the whole course of his and his family's future.

In chapter 19, God mercifully sends two angels, in the form of men, to warn Lot and his family of God's impending destruction of Sodom. We find that Lot still has a moral compass and a sense of right, for, before he knows their mission, he begs the "strangers" to lodge overnight in his home to ensure their safety. Even at this effort, the evil men of the city come to Lot's home to have homosexual relations with the strangers. Though the angels inflict the mob with blindness, they grope for the door of Lot's house to commit their atrocity.

Another example of Lot's compromise is offering his daughters to the mob in the place of the angels, or "strangers". (Genesis 19: 7-8) Though his intentions were noble, his offer was not. Luckily, the angels save Lot and his daughters from this horrible offer and bring Lot to safety in the house before they strike the men outside with blindness.

Because of Lot's earlier compromises, we find his daughters engaged to faithless men who do not believe that God is going to destroy Sodom. Lot has reared his family in the middle of a sinful and corrupt city. His wife has also been affected by the influences around her, and she does not obey the command to flee without looking back--a sign that her heart was bound in the trappings of the sinful city around her and that she did not have a proper fear and understanding of God. As a result, she is made into a pillar of salt, and Lot loses his wife. (v. 26)

Also, we see Lot compromise as he flees Sodom. First, he drags his feet in obedience. The angels urge him and his family to hurry as morning dawns. We are told in verse 16, "But he hesitated." God mercifully forgives his lack of obedience and the angels take them forcibly by the hands and drag them away. Finally, the angels clearly tell him to not settle anywhere in the valley but to flee to the mountains. Lot obeys with conditions. He offers up a little city of Zoar as a possible safe stop. God allows this, again being merciful. However, the chapter goes on to say that after the fire and brimstone wiped out Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot was afraid and stayed in the mountains God had commanded at the beginning. It appears that Lot did not have a proper fear and understanding of God's holiness, judgment and power until he witnessed the furious wipeout of his resident cities.

Lot's compromises and choices continue to plague him, as his daughters, not trained in the righteousness of God, fail to trust God's plan and provision and sleep with their own father to further their family line. (vv. 30-38) The resulting progeny, the Moabites and Ammonites, become longstanding enemies of Israel, God's chosen people.

Reading chapter 19 of Genesis gave me pause to think of all the times I obey God with conditions or compromise. Perhaps I submit to my husband only after I throw some "attitude" his way. Maybe I do my quiet time that day, but it comes after I relax, blog, e-mail and place it way down on my priority list. I might tithe or offer a financial gift, but it is given pridefully or, oppositely, with anxiety and withholding. This all brings to mind a quote often given by my pastor, which I use often with Carter. "Delayed obedience is disobedience." This leads me to realize, compromise is really a subtle way of not obeying at all. May I learn from the sad example of Lot and realize that compromise has repurcussions and will affect myself and others when I stray from the will of my Heavenly Father.

An Anniversary and Goal Setting Get Away

Ryan and I just celebrated our 6 year anniversary at the end of December. We went away for a night to a resort in Temecula. It was a little humorous because it was a little spa resort on a winery campus, but Ryan and I are not drinkers and I'm 7 and 1/2 months pregnant. My parents, who also don't really drink, visited this place and recommended it for the cheap prices and cute, romantic rooms. It is called the South Coast Winery and Resort, and it always has nice deals on TravelZoo. We went for the romantic little villas and a night away somewhere close to home. We had a great, relaxing time--we even saw a movie! The picture to the left is a photo of a little villa (room) at the resort, next to a garden. Each room is a seperate building with a patio overlooking the vineyard or garden.

Most importantly, though, we do our marriage goal-setting every year on our anniversary "trip". Seven years ago, we did a training session on making Biblical goals as a couple and using annual goals to protect and grow your marriage. We've done it every year since.

We start with prayer, some scripture reading, and by reviewing last year's goals. Then we actually take time to encourage one another with a list of things we have seen the other do well or improve upon over the last year. After we build each other up, we do--believe it or not--take time to mention a few major areas on which the other person has an opportunity to focus and grow. This has always gone well, and, though I often am defensive with any criticism aimed at me, even I find this a safe, non-threatening way to bring up any issues that have crept into one another's spiritual, married, parental or personal habits.

We then each take turns creating marriage goals as a couple and listing our own personal goals. Finally, Ryan takes the time to share our budget, our financial hits and misses and to help me better understand the boundaries of spending in the year ahead. Being a finance guy at work, this is always done very well--spread sheets, graphics, and everything!

I thought I would share some of our goals for 2009! They include everything from spiritual growth goals, personal goals, marriage goals, to parenting goals. Oh, and they MUST be measurable goals--to see if we meet them or not.

Chiara's 2009 goals:

--Potty train Carter by September

--Have DAILY, concentrated quiet time of AT LEAST 10 minutes immediately after the baby is born and resume normal quiet time length (30ish minutes) by the time the baby is 4 months old.

--Start working out at the YMCA in June (2-3 times a week) and walk 2-3 times a week before that time.

--Memorize one umbrella verse (witnessing tool from our church) per month

--Take someone at church through Partners next year.

--Step up service at church by adding activities committee at Thrive to my service.

Some of Ryan and Chiara's joint goals for 2009:

--Use each nightly dinner time to share what we are learning in quiet time that day and talk about this as a family.

--Reach out to neighbors next door and have them over for dinner to provide open doors to witness.

--Finish our "Growing Kids" parenting videos by March--8 more to go!

--Ban TV one night a week and make it a work night, reading night, etc.

--During/after Ryan and my nightly devotion time together, ask each other if we are having any discipline/heart issues with Carter (or baby as he grows) and seek a solution/game plan together. Sometimes Ryan has no idea of what I am working on with Carter and vice versa!

--Date nights every other week--even if we have to pay a sitter!

etc.

You get the gist. They are practical, measurable goals that we review four times throughout the year and try to keep each other accountable to follow. I highly recommend you try this sometime with your spouse. It fosters communication like no other tool we have used, and it helps us both mature in various areas of our lives. Plus, if nothing else, you get a night or day away--just the two of you!

Christmas Blessings!

Our family had a wonderful Christmas. Since Costco put up trees and lights back in early October (or maybe September), Carter has been saying, "Christmas is coming!" Well, it finally came, and it was wonderful.

We had a little hectic week prior to Christmas, as both Carter and I came down with a mild tummy flu, and then Carter woke up five days before Christmas with double pink eye and a double ear infection. We were back at the doctor on Monday to switch his antibiotics when he broke out in full body hives as an allergic reaction to the first medicine. God is merciful, and Carter was healthy and able to be in public again on Christmas Eve--just in time!

On Christmas Eve, we had family time around the house, and then we went to afternoon church services at Compass Bible Church. It was a wonderful service reminding us of how Christ glorified the Father by coming and living a perfect life and dying for us, and how we can glorify God in our own actions as well.

After church, we headed to my sister and brother-in-law's house to celebrate Christmas with my side of the family. The six kids were excited to open presents, which we did after a yummy Mexican food dinner. Carter loves going to my sister's house. They are blessed with a home in Nellie Gail, and he calls it the "trampoline house." They have a giant yard with a big trampoline and a tropical pool with a rock slide. It was drizzly, but he got a little time on the trampoline. He was fine being inside too, since the game room had both air hockey and a fooseball table.

On Christmas morning, we got up late (8:00) and enjoyed the cold, rainy morning. We prayed together as a family and opened most of our presents. At about 10:30, we headed to Ryan's parents' home, where we had breakfast and opened presents. Gabe, Ivy and Carter all loved the presents, but Gabe was an absolute joy to watch, as he shook his hands and bounced around in excitement. Later that afternoon, Ryan's extended family came over to his parents' for a delicious dinner with all the trimmings. It was such a fun day--spending time with family and thanking God for all the numerous blessings we enjoy, all undeservedly.

Carter made out with WAAAAYY too much loot this year. We spent most of the 26th unboxing his toys and finding creative ways to store all the "stuff." Next year, we'll be back to buying very little for him and letting the other family members fill the toy box. Not surprisingly, his favorite toys were anything with noises, buttons and movement. It was fun to see him playing with all the alphabet and counting toys this year and hearing him actually count and identify all the letters. He's growing up fast! Baby brother even got some outfits, which means he won't be wearing entirely hand me downs.

Enjoy some of the pictures. We can't wait to hear all about your Christmas celebrations and the blessings you enjoyed!

Carter enjoying the giant trampoline while grandma watches his stunts!

Carter and his cousin, Grace, pretending to play checkers.

Carter, Gabe and Ivy are excited for presents!

Silly cousins: Stephen, Grace, Connor, Lauren, Carter and Cassie