Love Dare: Day 6

Well, I asked Ryan what 3 things I do that irritate him the most, and he laughed and thought I was joking! : ) Once he realized I wasn't, he was a little nervous to answer me, but I finally got 2 good suggestions out of him. I'm filing them away in my head and making a point to work on them.

Today's Love Dare is about being irritable--ouch. I think these are getting harder and harder. I'd have to say this is a big area of sin for me. When I'm having a bad day, I don't think I throw up my hands and quit doing what I need to do, I just do everything that day with a huge dose of irritability and impatience. It isn't pretty folks.

So, today I have been dared to react to tough circumstances in loving ways instead of with irritation. I also need to add margin to my schedule so I don't get irritable from stress. Finally, the dare asks me to see if I have any greed, lust, bitterness or other selfish sin that is leading to so much irritability. Zoinks.

Pray for me. Weekends are often the hardest for my irritability sin, since the normal routine is off and Ryan might handle the kids differently than I do all week. Also, I'm getting less sleep and having less alone time. I'll have to think about my schedule and how I can add margin to it. I think leaving for any appointment five minutes earlier than planned is going to help A LOT. I get so irritable when we are late for anything. I know I'm selfish with my time and energy, so I need to work on being more sacrificial in those areas.

I'll let you know if I was less irritable when I post tomorrow!

Love Dare: Day 5

Reflecting on yesterday's dare, I'm trying to put more time and thought into Ryan's birthday than panicking and going to the mall the weekend before his birthday. So, Micah, Carter and I went and got him a few things today. I'm still haven't found any "wow" items to get him. He asked mainly for clothes. If you have any ideas, let me know! I'm thinking!

Today's dare is called "Love is not Rude." It talks about bad habits of rudeness we demonstrate to our spouse at home. The chapter says that women usually demonstrate rudeness in our quarrelsome attitude and words. Me, quarrelsome? ahem. Maybe sometimes. So, this dare is a zinger. You have to ask your spouse what are three things you do that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You cannot argue or defend yourself. You just have to listen. It also says that if you are thinking, "I wish my spouse would ask me this so I could tell him/her about how he/she . . .", then you are in dire need of hearing about your own flaws. : )

This isn't easy to do, but I really do need to work on things that irritate Ryan. So, I'll let you know how it goes!

Love Dare: Day 4

Today's focus was on thoughtfulness. In reading the chapter, I was convicted of how I have changed in thinking about blessing my spouse since we were dating. I was always planning dates, dinners to cook, items to purchase for him, cards to write, etc. when we were dating. Now, I am even scrambling to think about what he should get for his BIRTHDAY! Yikes! Life gets busier with kids, but it doesn't mean we should move our purposeful thoughts of blessing our husband to the end of our list. Today's dare is to contact my husband and ask him how he is doing and what I could do to help/bless him--without any other agenda or conversation about kids, plans, etc. This is something we do regularly, but the chapter reminded me that I need to be more purposeful in how I am thoughtful toward Ryan.

Love Dare: Day 2 and 3

Well, yesterday's dare was to continue using kind words and to also do something unexpectedly kind in action for your spouse. The chapter talked about kindness not just being patience (defensive) but also offensive action demonstrating kindness. My unexpected action was going to be to give Ryan a backrub without getting one in return. We do backrubs almost nightly, but we always both get one--except on birthdays when the person of honor gets one without giving one. Anyway, I ate something bad and spent the night in the fetal position on the couch. So, tonight, I am giving Ryan the backrub. : )

Today, day 3, the dare is to buy your spouse something to show them you are thinking of them. The root of this dare is to fight my propensity toward selfishness and be thinking of my spouse over myself. Today we went to Sea World and I didn't get to buy anything, but tomorrow I am going to go buy Ryan a chocolate chip muffin at the store. He loves to have a special treat for breakfast. It helps him have something fun when he has to get up for work, and he loves chocolate chip muffins.

Okay, I'm off to give my special someone a back rub! Goodnight!

The Love Dare: Day 1

So, yesterday was the beginning of The Love Dare. I'm surprising Ryan with 40 days in the Love Dare and seeing how long it takes him to figure out I'm doing this. Two of my girlfriends are also doing this to their husbands, and we are holding each other accountable to finishing. Yesterday, I had to watch my words and not say anything negative to Ryan--not a complaint, not a gripe, not a "I told you so", not even correction if I knew I was right and he was wrong. It was a great dare, as I had been very frustrated with little things/mistakes Ryan was doing/making and was making sure to point out to him all of his mistakes. He, of course, didn't appreciate my highlighting his errors. So, this was a timely exercise. I think I did fairly well. Last night he took the boys to the pumpkin patch while I met with the ladies in Thrive leadership. I was wincing as he marched Carter out in a T-shirt and Micah had on a thin sleeper. Without overtly complaining, though, I was able to stuff some jackets and a stroller blanket in the car, and the situation was remedied without me dumping negativity on Ryan.

If you haven't seen the movie, Fireproof, and you are married, I highly recommend it! It will better explain the idea of the love dare. You don't need to be in marital disrepair to do the love dare. Think of it as a PX90 for marriage--only of shorter duration and of greater worth!