Love Dare: Day 26

Today's chapter is called "Love is Responsible." It is a biggie. It is all about having a good attitude about criticism that comes your way and always asking for forgiveness for any wrongdoing that is your own (regardless of what your spouse has done).

This is a big challenge for me. I don't easily say "I'm sorry." It hasn't been something I've done well in any manner with anyone, and, though I'm working on it and recognize it, it is a hard chapter for me.

Ryan and I both have trouble saying I'm sorry first. We are both fairly defensive and more concerned about what the other person has done. This chapter reminds us that we need to FIRST be concerned with repenting of our own wrongdoing. Get the plank out of our own eye.

The dare today is to prayerfully consider any wrong I have done in my marriage (for which I haven't yet taken responsibility) and to seek Ryan's forgiveness for it. Pray that I will do this and really search my heart. I know I have a lot of room for growth in this area!

Love Dare: Day 25

Today's dare chapter is entitled "Love Forgives." This is near and dear to my heart. Leading a marriage ministry with my husband, we see many marriages which can't be repaired because one participant or both is unwilling to practice forgiveness. Anger, bitterness and hurt imprison us when we choose to hold onto them. The initial feelings of hurt we felt dissipate and we are trapped with sinful feelings of bitterness and anger. We must choose to let this go and choose to move forward in forgiving and loving our spouse, even when they don't deserve this kindness. We only hurt ourselves when we act contrary to what God desires.

First and foremost we need to remember what God did for us. While we were enemies and while we were sinners, God DIED for us and suffered for OUR sins. Nothing our spouses do to us can match what God faced because of us. We are recipients of this grace, and yet we hold onto much lesser wrongs our spouse commits. We expect them to overlook grievances we do and then we punish them for as long as it takes until we feel they have paid for their wrong--but do we ever actually feel it was paid for? The answer is no. At some point we have to choose to forgive and give the justice to God. Otherwise, our lack of satisfaction at true justice eats us alive and piles bitterness upon bitterness.

The dare today is to think of ANYTHING you haven't forgiven in your spouse and to let it go. This might be something BIG--an affair, lies, emotional abuse. This might be something smaller--lack of attention, forgetting an important event, not living their role in the marriage. This might be something trivial--they accidentally hurt your feelings, they didn't say the right thing, or they left a task undone and you had to do it.

Whatever you haven't forgiven, pray God would release it from your heart, feel the relief of letting God deal with any wrongs, and choose to live your marital role in a godly manner.

Love Dare: Day 24

Today's lesson was on Love vs. Lust. It was about how our eyes see something, our hearts desire it, and then we act on it in sin. This can apply to sexual material, but, as it clearly states in this chapter, this can be anything--a new material thing, a position of authority, a job, a relationship, money and affluence, etc.

The chapter goes on to explain the love and lust are polar opposites. Love is being content and choosing to honor the other person above yourself. Lust is selfish and all consuming. It is the definition of not having contentment.

The dare today is to identify any object of lust in your life and remove it. I know in the Fireproof movie, this is where the main character smashes his computer because he was addicted to pornography. For me, this is a good reminder to check my heart for contentment and make sure no yearning for "more" of anything is in my life--being more thin, more recognition, ANYTHING. I need to check for balance and contentment, for even as I make goals that are not sinful, they must not consume me.

Love Dare: Day 23

Ryan and I took the boys and spent almost a week in the Las Vegas area. Despite Ryan getting the 24 hour stomach flu, we had a good time, but I'm WAY behind on my love dare days. So, let's get crackin'!

Today's dare is Love Protects. It talks about taking any harmful influences out of your marriage that undermine it. This could be harmful friends, things that build unrealistic expectations like movies or novels, lustful viewing or temptations, etc. I also liked that it mentioned keeping any vulnerabilites you know in your spouse private. You are to protect them in public and never speak down about your spouse to others--especially using weaknesses that you are privy to witness at home.

The dare is to get rid of any harmful influences that are in our marriages and lives. Ryan and I have set up boundaries in this area, and we hope to always work to protect our marriage against sinful influences. I for sure could work on always building up my spouse! I know I can jest about him in ways that might hurt his feelings, so my goal today is to be more careful about how I speak about Ryan around others. I want him to be encouraged and built up by my words!

Love Dare: Day 22

Today is Ryan's birthday! Happy birthday, love! What a blessing he is in my life.

Today's chapter is called Love is faithful. It speaks of God's unconditional, redeeming love, as illustrated so well in the life of Hosea and Gomer in the Bible. Though we fall short and did nothing to deserve God's love, He forgives and chooses to love us faithfully.

This is the crux of marriage. We should be faithful to our spouse--choosing to love them each and every day, not because they earn our love, but because we choose to commit to them and love them. This is the problem with so many marriages ending in divorce--there is no concept of faithfulness in love. People love only if it is earned. This is inevitably a failing way to run a marriage.

The dare for today is to tell your spouse you love them, you will always love them, and you choose to love them even if they don't want to love you back.