Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Identifying the Sin in Being Worried Sick


I know I am WAY behind in posting. I'll spare you all the details of our busy schedules, as I know everyone is in the same boat this time of year.

I was having trouble brainstorming ideas for my post, and then I thought I would just honestly share thoughts on my mind lately. I don't normally struggle with anxiety to a large degree. However, lately, I have really been sinful in this area.

As with every year, sickness has been running rampant through our church and the children's ministries program. Since many church friends are on Facebook with me, I can count numerous status updates each day about new families falling prey to the stomach flu or the bad cold making rounds. The cold has already hit our family, but I will do just about anything to avoid the stomach flu.

I use the excuse of pregnancy and the need to stay healthy, but my preoccupation with avoiding the stomach flu has reached sinful levels. I wash my hands forty times a day, and I pray for protection from the flu about three times a day. If we are driving to church, I always remind Carter of "buggies" and to keep his hands out of his mouth--ya, right. I have even considered not taking Carter to church during the worst of it. Can you believe it--going to church to worship God, and all the while keeping Carter at home because I am not trusting the God I am worshipping to take care of us.

Really, though, I am trying to take control of the situation and am not trusting God's plan for us--to get sick or not get sick. It is out of my hands. No matter how much I hate the stomach flu, I have to trust God knows best and he will provide protection against the germs or give us endurance to get through the illness. He wants us at church, and I need to be obedient in bringing both myself and Carter to church--flu or no flu.

Another health anxiety I have had lately is my pregnancy. I am getting numerous questions about when I am due, and most well-meaning people believe I am going to say within the next month or so. When I laugh and say, "March 15th," they have horrified looks on their faces. This baby is bigger than Carter, he is very high, and I am popping out more because of my second pregnancy. I am pretty uncomfortable already, and I start worrying about the next three months. If I can barely walk any considerable distance now, how am I going to function that third month from now? How in the world am I going to birth a bigger baby than Carter when I could barely get him out?--I had to have vaccuum assist with Carter due to his heartrate dropping after 18 hours of labor.

My sin lies in my habit of persisting in these thoughts and going into panic mode. It doesn't take long before my eyes are off the blessing of the baby, and I am dwelling with depression on all the horrible inconveniences and trials I have ahead of me.

This is the baby God made for my family. He is big. I have uncomfortable pregnancies, and this is a trial God has allowed in my life. There is a reason. I am to be thankful in all circumstances.

I have identified these sins of worry and anxiety, and I need to now focus on obediently repenting and changing my thought patterns, attitudes, and actions. You can be praying for me in these details. Ask me how I am doing with my anxiety and worry--in all circumstances!

6 comments:

mark.vr said...

Good post. I think it ties well with:

Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

We are not to be anxious but prayerful. I know I fail at this much but I strive to be better at it (to grow spiritually, as in II Peter 1:5-8).

I hope that you are spared from the flu and cold this season (and beyond).

Gathered Chick said...

Chiara,

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I fully understand the sin of being worried sick. In fact, I'm struggling with that very thing today.

Thank you for sharing of yourself and your own personal struggles so I can be encouraged to "go and sin no more."

Love,
~Heidi

theSanchez' said...

Chiara, I will be praying Go sends his peace to comfort you and protect you and your family. It really is so easy to want to take control of your own life, but God is so much bigger and He wants what is best for us. As far as your preganncy is concerned, you look beautiful and what a blessing to have another little one!

Amy Kaylor Photography said...

I'm a worrier by nature and can think of SO many things to conjugate up in my head that are just not for real. I have to sift all of my thoughts through prayer and God's word from not totally going insane! I worry about worry! Tis' the season for sickness and this too shall pass. ;o)

Ryan Hawley said...

I like the verse Mark posted -- Philippians 4:6. It's not always easy to cast your fears and anxieties into God's loving hands. But we are much better when we are able to do so.

Alie Joy said...

I really appreciate your honesty with your worrying Chiara. God calls us to a higher standard and I admire you for striving daily for that.