An Anniversary and Goal Setting Get Away

Ryan and I just celebrated our 6 year anniversary at the end of December. We went away for a night to a resort in Temecula. It was a little humorous because it was a little spa resort on a winery campus, but Ryan and I are not drinkers and I'm 7 and 1/2 months pregnant. My parents, who also don't really drink, visited this place and recommended it for the cheap prices and cute, romantic rooms. It is called the South Coast Winery and Resort, and it always has nice deals on TravelZoo. We went for the romantic little villas and a night away somewhere close to home. We had a great, relaxing time--we even saw a movie! The picture to the left is a photo of a little villa (room) at the resort, next to a garden. Each room is a seperate building with a patio overlooking the vineyard or garden.

Most importantly, though, we do our marriage goal-setting every year on our anniversary "trip". Seven years ago, we did a training session on making Biblical goals as a couple and using annual goals to protect and grow your marriage. We've done it every year since.

We start with prayer, some scripture reading, and by reviewing last year's goals. Then we actually take time to encourage one another with a list of things we have seen the other do well or improve upon over the last year. After we build each other up, we do--believe it or not--take time to mention a few major areas on which the other person has an opportunity to focus and grow. This has always gone well, and, though I often am defensive with any criticism aimed at me, even I find this a safe, non-threatening way to bring up any issues that have crept into one another's spiritual, married, parental or personal habits.

We then each take turns creating marriage goals as a couple and listing our own personal goals. Finally, Ryan takes the time to share our budget, our financial hits and misses and to help me better understand the boundaries of spending in the year ahead. Being a finance guy at work, this is always done very well--spread sheets, graphics, and everything!

I thought I would share some of our goals for 2009! They include everything from spiritual growth goals, personal goals, marriage goals, to parenting goals. Oh, and they MUST be measurable goals--to see if we meet them or not.

Chiara's 2009 goals:

--Potty train Carter by September

--Have DAILY, concentrated quiet time of AT LEAST 10 minutes immediately after the baby is born and resume normal quiet time length (30ish minutes) by the time the baby is 4 months old.

--Start working out at the YMCA in June (2-3 times a week) and walk 2-3 times a week before that time.

--Memorize one umbrella verse (witnessing tool from our church) per month

--Take someone at church through Partners next year.

--Step up service at church by adding activities committee at Thrive to my service.

Some of Ryan and Chiara's joint goals for 2009:

--Use each nightly dinner time to share what we are learning in quiet time that day and talk about this as a family.

--Reach out to neighbors next door and have them over for dinner to provide open doors to witness.

--Finish our "Growing Kids" parenting videos by March--8 more to go!

--Ban TV one night a week and make it a work night, reading night, etc.

--During/after Ryan and my nightly devotion time together, ask each other if we are having any discipline/heart issues with Carter (or baby as he grows) and seek a solution/game plan together. Sometimes Ryan has no idea of what I am working on with Carter and vice versa!

--Date nights every other week--even if we have to pay a sitter!

etc.

You get the gist. They are practical, measurable goals that we review four times throughout the year and try to keep each other accountable to follow. I highly recommend you try this sometime with your spouse. It fosters communication like no other tool we have used, and it helps us both mature in various areas of our lives. Plus, if nothing else, you get a night or day away--just the two of you!