Today was hard. We both woke up grouchy. The boys were up an hour earlier than normal, and even though I prayed before I got them, I was tired (still getting energy back from the flu) and I woke up to a lot of e-mails from our marriage ministry. Ryan was tired from Thrive the night before and cut it close on getting up with time to get to work. Since he was running late, he had little time or patience for the whining boys and my slow self this morning. Having been cooped up with the boys for three days while we get rid of germs hasn't helped. We are all stir crazy and crabby.
Sound familiar? I'm sure we've all been there. So, today was hard. I wasn't feeling warm fuzzies toward Ryan when he called during the day to remind me to do calls or e-mails. I wasn't exactly thrilled at all the posts I read on Facebook about how so and so's husband brought them coffee and took the kids downstairs so she could sleep in . . . Doesn't it seem like Satan sends a bunch of those status updates on the mornings we are disgruntled? Ugh.
However, I really struggled and fought to stay positive today. I decided to choose to be happy with the things that were great, and when I was able to focus, I did much better. God was faithful when I was obedient to quit pouting. I'm not saying I didn't sin and have some moments of self-pity. I have to always remember I'm not entitled to anything, and God's grace is sufficient. Entitlement--there is another post.
So, today's love dare is on understanding your spouse. It talked about how we study one another when we are dating, but we don't really have in depth conversations or try to better know our spouse once our marriage is settled.
Ryan and I spend a lot of time together, and I would say we know a lot about each other's lives and activities. I know what his fears, hopes and dreams are. However, where we rush and hate to spend time is in the immediate needs. In the rush of life and our tiredness, I think we don't want to see the exhaustion in our spouse, because that would mean stopping and talking or helping. We overlook the frustration in the short response we get because we just don't want to deal with something we might have said that bothered them. We are selfish in our own trials, and marriages can sometimes get derailed through lack of stopping and really being open to listening to your spouse--to really listening, encouraging and thinking about their immediate needs.
That is why today's dare is awesome. It says to cook a romantic dinner at home and have the kids out of the house. Well, Ryan is out tonight with a Thrive activity. (I'm still in quarantine with the boys and stayed home). However, I am going to put a date on the calendar and do this. We don't need to have a restaurant. I'll get nice steaks, make his favorite potatoes and dessert. I think I'll even dream up a little game of questions to get the communication flowing about the here and now needs of Ryan. It will be a good night of getting to understand my spouse better.
Oh, and for the hard day--it is almost over. Thank goodness God's mercy is new EVERY morning!
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