Because I said so

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

Carter has definitely been exercising his little will lately. His preferred expression after any statement is "Why?" This can be an innocent, curious why or an insolent, challenging why--much in the way you would imagine a teenager uttering the phrase. The disrespectful why usually follows an imperative which he doesn't like--pick up your toys, turn off the TV, do not eat that now, etc. Sometimes I take the time to explain my reasoning to him, giving him the valid safey reasons, affecting circumstances, or motives behind me asking him or telling him to do something. More often than not, however, I have reverted to the expression, "Because Mommy said so, and God tells you to obey mommy." I shouldn't always have to explain my thought processes or reasons to a two year old. Sometimes I want him to understand, but sometimes I just want him to obey--regardless of whether or not he understands why.

This week has been a hard week for many in my extended family. In one week, they will have faced trials of a miscarriage, job loss and surgery. It was one of those weeks when, much like my two year old, I was required to obey God's plan and direction, but I was tempted to pout and ask "why?" However, I know that rebellion and anger is a futile exercise. God is sovereign. He is in charge. God is perfect and has a plan for each of His believers that will all work out for good. I have limited understanding before an omniscient God.

My sister-in-law has been a perfect example of firmly trusing in the midst of a very difficult trial this week. She and her husband have never wavered in their faith and love for God, even when He asked for a large sacrifice and loss. She has been an amazing example to many at our church who are undergoing trials and might be struggling to stand firm. With grace and humility, she has gently submitted to God's will with obedience and hope.

We don't always know the reasons why things happen. We do know God has complete control, and only those things which He allows can enter our lives. Instead of mimicking the stubborn attitude of a two year old, may we have the maturity and hope to obey our sovereign Creator--even when all God reveals to us is, "Because I said so."

Thankfulness

Okay, one of my ways of combating self pity and the blues during my days of morning sickness is to constantly give praise to God and thank Him for His goodness. It is such a reality check when I take the time to just list the gifts he has POURED into my life. I urge you to do the same if you are ever tempted to compare your life to another or feel that life has been or is somehow unfair.

Thank you, Heavenly Father for:

--My salvation. I am a sinful person washed clean in your blood and sacrifice!

--My husband. He makes me laugh, he loves me for who I am, and he understands me. I love him so much! Help me to always Biblically serve him and love him unconditionally.

--My son and our second baby on the way. I love my children and am in awe that you entrusted them to me to teach Your ways. Give me strength to do better!

--My church body. I love our church. I love the teaching. I love the desire for God's truths. I love the fellowship and encouragement. I love the support. I love the opportunity to serve your beloved. I love knowing you are growing me each and every day.

--Thrive. I love our marriage ministry. I am constantly encouraged and humbled in this group. There are so many men and women who show me how far I have to go. They are amazing slaves for Your kingdom. I love working on my ministry to Ryan and growing closer to you, God.

--Friends for Carter. There are so many great friends at church for Carter. You gave me a very social little boy, so the plethora of little buddies is such a gift!

--Your Word. Each day I learn more about You and what you are teaching me, and I find such a peace and comfort from the truths you present to me.

--Our home. I forget to be appreciative of this. Cleaning, gardening and household duties get my mind off the focus of the blessing of having a bright, happy home for our family. May I do my best to represent You correctly to anyone who enters here.

--Ryan's job. Though it is long hours, you have provided tremendously for us. You have given us stability and financial blessings. May we use this gift to bless others!

--Friends. It really wasn't until I was a Christian after college, and my focus began to turn outside myself that I came to realize the blessings of friends and serving others. May we sharpen one another and encourage one another--never forgetting to tell one another how thankful we are for our friendship!

--Family--It is such a tremendous blessing that you have given us much of our family living within minutes of us. Most importantly, we are all believers--like-minded and understanding the hope we all have in even the hardest times.

--All the parks we have around us for Carter to play his little heart out.

--Books. I love to read, and I love that you have given me a great enjoyment for reading.

--Creativity. This might sound strange, but I love that I can escape while baking a cake, drawing a picture or writing a story. I enjoy being creative and using a gift you have given me. It gives me great joy!

--Health. God you gave me a body that has relatively few issues with disease or illness. Thank you that I can get out of bed each morning and that even morning sickness is doing its purpose in my life right now.

--Football. I love watching autumn football games--the band playing, the whistles blowing, the helmets crashing and the crowd cheering. It is a fun hobby every year!

--Cooking. I love to cook, especially in the cool weather of fall and winter. Simmering soups and crock pot creations smell so comforting when you enter your home from a chilly day outside.

--Sleep. I do love to sleep! It is amazing how much you realize the gift of sleep when it eludes you. Thank you that my body can rest and the flurry of life takes a break.

--Music. What a special gift you give us in music. We can express our feelings and enjoy something beautiful.

--Trees. Strange, I know. I love trees. If I ever took a painting class, I would paint trees. When I was little, I would sit still and listen to the quiet rustling of leaves in the forest near us as the wind would dance through the Eucalyptus trees. Lacy Birches and stoic pine trees are some of my favorites too.

--Fun. You are an amazing God to give us fun breaks. Trips to Disneyland, vacations, family get togethers, dinners out. What a treat that with the labor of life, you give us enjoyable moments sprinkled throughout.

--Prayer. It is staggering that I can speak to the Creator of the universe. You hear me and respond. What a privelege!

Okay, this post is getting long, and I could go on forever. Truly. Once you start your list, you get on a roll. I could go on and on. I feel lifted with gratitude to God! He is such a loving, gracious Father. Thank you, God!

God is Faithful

Lamentations 3:22-23 "Because of His great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness."

Well, I haven't had much energy or concentration to blog, as morning sickness has settled in for a little while. I have a huge praise that, though it is hard and more than what most people experience, my nausea is much less than the severe sickness I had with Carter's pregnancy. I would have required help to take care of Carter if I was as sick as before, so it is a huge answer to prayer that I am making it through my days without trips to the ER for hydration or hours spent curled up on the bathroom floor. God is truly good!

Today I went to the doctor's for my first prenatal appointment (8 weeks), and it was so wonderful! I saw the baby on an internal ultrasound, and I got to see his or her little heart fluttering away. The baby is measuring about three days bigger than my due date (March 15th), but this is quite normal. Carter measured big early on too, but then he was an average size baby at birth (7lb., 7 oz).

Seeing as my tummy is already quite protruding, I was nervous about twins, but only one little baby was there! Again, I showed early with Carter too. I dread it when people ask me how far along I am, as they expect me to say "about 16 weeks." I have already been asked by two strangers if I know the sex of the baby--I am assuming they thought I was about halfway through my pregnancy journey. Oh, well. I know the baby is a healthy size, and my tummy certainly will provide plenty of padding for this little one.

Seeing all the blessings God has poured down upon us, and realizing He gets me through each day of morning sickness with His grace, a song that has been stuck in my head these past few weeks is "Great is Thy Faithfulness." I have been singing it in the shower, the car and around the house. Carter asks, "What you singing about, Mommy?" He asks me this whenever I start singing any song. Seizing the teachable moment, I am able to share with him that I am singing about God's goodness, His promises, and His provision. I love the lyrics to this song:

"Great is Thy Faithfulness,

LORD God, my Father.

There is no shadow of turning with Thee.

Thou changest not. Thy compassions they fail not.

As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy Faithfulness, Great is Thy Faithfulness.

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.

Great is Thy faithfulness, LORD unto me."

God has provided abundantly for me through this time of sickness. May I not forget His daily examples of faithfulness and love, even when it is difficult. All praise be to our faithful and merciful Heavenly Father!

Boo Boo Shoes

Hosea 14:9

"Who is wise? He will realize these things.

Who is descerning? He will understand them.

The ways of the LORD are right;

the righteous walk in them,

but the rebellious stumble in them."

Carter has a particular pair of toddler-sized flip flops which have ceremoniously been nicknamed his "boo-boo shoes." Whenever he wears them, he is due to experience at least a couple of fairly major wipeouts. In fact, Carter wore them this last Saturday to Lake Mission Viejo. Before lunchtime, he had a fat lip, a wiggly tooth and two skinned knees.

Carter knows the danger of his shoes, and when his eyes are rimmed with tears after a fall, he contemptuously glares at his boo-boo shoes, knowing full well where to place the blame for his lack of coordination. Despite this, he gravitates toward them every morning, pleading with mama to let him wear his "flip flops." Deep down, he feels like they are big boy shoes, and his vanity and strong will suppress the red flags that are warning him of impending danger. More often than not, I veto his desires, as I know the shoes are not practical and will cause him to fall.

To take a literal illustration and figuratively twist it, I was pondering Carter's shoe dilemma with my own struggle to "put off" things in my life that inevitably cause me to stumble in my Christian walk. In Philippians 4:8, God tells us to think about what is pure, true, right, lovely, noble and admirable. As we all know, it is a battle to dwell on rightoeus thoughts when we are living in and surrounded by a fallen world. However, we can make daily choices that can hinder or support us in our pursuit of holiness.

When I know I should be having quiet time with God, am I pushing everything aside and grabbing my Bible, or am I settling onto the couch for one quick click around the channels or a much desired catnap? When a magazine causes me to struggle with vanity or covetousness, do I cancel my subscription or do I gloss over my sins and continue to pick up the pages that lead me astray? If a certain friend continually gripes, gossips and brings out the worst in my sinful nature, do I repent of my contribution and admonish the friend (perhaps even having to put the brakes on the friendship) or do I ignore the situation in an effort to be "at ease" with others?  In other words, do I value people pleasing more than I value obedience and righteousness?

God often gives us red flags that should send us running in the opposite direction of the danger, but, sometimes, much like Carter with his big boy shoes, we are drawn toward the danger due to the lure that sin can take on our hearts. It often seems attractive and benign, but it ensnares us and causes us to fall.  Let us listen to the loving discipline and warnings of our Heavenly Father. Recognize what in your life can cause you to stumble and experience spiritual injuries. Turn from what causes you to sin and replace the danger with righteous disciplines, friends and conduct.

Psalm 116:8

"For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling,"

Waiting on the Lord

Psalm 27:14

"Wait on the LORD;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the LORD!"

For the past month, I have been repeating this verse over and over in my quiet time, while I am getting ready in the morning, and while I lay down to fall asleep at night. I even wrote the verse in "window" markers on our sliding mirrored wardrobe doors. It has given me such joy and hope!

Ryan and I have been waiting on God for a few months. We had plans to get pregnant at the end of spring, and we thought, since Carter came so easily, we wouldn't have any issues. Well, we quickly found that saying you are giving your plans to the Lord and actually GIVING your plans to God are not always the same. Our mouths had uttered "God willing" numerous times, but our trust was tested when our pregnancy tests came back negative a couple of times and health issues were at our door. We, and I mean mainly me, had to work through some disappointment, some anxiety and some just plain sadness in the process. God exposed sinful idols and selfishness that needed to be pruned from our hearts during the wait.

Well, this week we found out we are pregnant! We are due March 17th, one week before Carter's birthday. We are ecstatic to meet this little blessing and answer to prayer, but I am mainly in awe of the work God has done on my heart. I was able to live out the promises and truths I mentioned in my recent post, "Trusting God on the Detours." I failed miserably on some occasions, and I trusted on others. Through it all, I have clung more closely to Him and realized how my expectations can lack flexibility and how they can be plainly sinful.

Through the wait, we had bloodwork done, which revealed a hypothyroid condition I would possibly have missed for several years if I hadn't had God say, "Wait." However, regardless of whether or not I see the reason now, I trust God knows best. The sooner I lay my plans at His feet and submit to His will, the sooner the peace and strength He offers can bless me while I wait.

Psalm 28:6-7

"Blessed be the Lord,

Because He has heard the voice of my supplications!

The LORD is my strength and my shield;

My heart trusted in Him and I am helped;

Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,

And with my song I will praise Him."