Monday, January 25, 2010

Love Dare: In addition


I was talking with a friend at church, and she was asking me if The Love Dare would be a good read for a marriage that was in trouble. I had to say no. If you followed me on my 40 day Love Dare journey, you can see that it is a good read to remind a spouse/spouses about how to sacrificially love and serve in marriage. I enjoyed taking the time to serve Ryan as a blessing to him, and I know it meant a lot to him that I chose to love him in this way.

However, if you are having huge marital problems, this book won't solve them. You need to go seek the counsel of a pastor to see where the marriage is falling short of Biblical guidelines for marriage, and you need to have communication with the pastor about how to fix the sin issue that is sidelining the relationship.

This book does present the Biblical ideas for a godly marriage, but I doubt very few people can truly realize a sin issue and change when the issues are usually very engrained and deep.

Also, please read my posts on the gospel message in this book. The book is in error. God does love you, but you don't become a Christian to be loved. Being a Christian is about realizing you are a sinner before a holy God. Only Christ's death on the cross can pay your debt--yes, you owe God a payment for your sin, but Christ has paid it for us. After you realize your sinful state and need for Christ, you will REPENT and have faith in God to provide and lead. Your life will not be your own anymore. You will be a follower of Christ, and He is now the master of your life. You will live a life where you are learning to die to self and give more and more glory and obedience to God. Love is a vital part of the gospel, but it isn't the focus or the summary.

If you know a non-Christian who is reading this book, please use this as an opportunity to speak about why the book falls short on the gospel presentation and share the true gospel with the reader.

I wanted to make sure I clarified these things before I left the topic. I would recommend this book to use as a prompt to unordinary thoughtfulness and action, but I wouldn't use it to save a failing marriage or to bring someone to Christ.

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