Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I am on the last chapter of Martha Peace's Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face. I loved her book, The Excellent Wife, so I knew she wouldn't disappoint me in this second book. I have found gems of information and accountability in every chapter, but one that hit home for me was Who is the Fairest of them all?--Vanity.

The word "vanity" often conjures up images of 20 something girls applying lipstick in a rearview mirror of their car, only to emerge from their vehicle with a skimpy outfit, high heels and a "notice me" attitude. Movie stars, elective cosmetic surgery, fashion magazines and fashion models fit into our concept of vanity. Men with pumped up arms and fancy cars can symbolize vanity. However, though these extremes are agreeably vain in many instances, we are looking too far from home for our examples.

I believe almost every person, especially in Orange County, suffers from a struggle with vanity. You might not believe you are beautiful, but a preoccupation with wishing you were thinner or had a prettier face or owned more fashionable clothes certainly qualifies as vanity. Martha Peace defines vanity as "empty, vain, or worthless. Vanity (in the sense of the love of beauty) is an inflated pride in one's appearance." Pride in your appearance doesn't mean you have to love how you look, it just means you care too much about HOW you look.

Scripture has quite a bit to say on vanity. Proverbs 31:30 says,

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she
shall be praised."

I Peter 3:3-4 joins by stating,

"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold
jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let the hidden person of the heart, with the
imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the
sight of God."

With an ugly metaphor in mind, Proverbs 11:22 quips,

"As a ring of gold in a swine's snout so is a beautiful woman who lacks
discretion."

Surely there is no sin in putting yourself together, wearing some makeup and taking care of yourself. Where sin enters is in the motivation and the priority these activities take in your life. Are you going to the gym to lose fat so that you will be as skinny as you were or as so-and-so is, or are you going to the gym to lose fat so that you can please your husband and look your best for him? Perhaps you are dieting to gain self-control over food and overcome a sinful area of your life. Maybe you are merely dieting to lose 3 more pounds and be that "perfect" size 4. The first motivation might be right, but be careful it does not turn into the second motivation.

Martha gives signs of vanity in her book. Are you overly concerned with how you look--you wonder what people are thinking or saying about you? Do you find yourself critical of every spot and wrinkle? Are you unable to graciously receive compliments? Do you feel depressed or anxious because you feel or are "fat?" Do you have an unhealthy quest for thinness? Do you overspend on clothes, hair, makeup, and accessories? Do you compare yourself to others and how they look? You can say "I look so much better than so-and-so," or "I wish I looked like her. She has lost so much weight." Do you say things to elicit compliments from others? Do you refuse to have sex with your husband because you feel fat? Do you find yourself apologizing for how you look if you aren't totally put together? These are all signs of vanity that Mrs. Peace lists.

Why do we care so much about being perfect in our appearance? Our bodies are decomposing shells that will, inevitably, look less perfect each day. Our hope and glory should be in pleasing our Heavenly Father and demonstrating the quiet and gentle spirit that God adores. Do you spend more time on appearance than on Bible study, prayer and church activities? Are you grateful and content with what God has given you or are you unsatisfied and sinning in your attitude?

Finally, Martha Peace suggests replacing the vain actions in our life with serving others. Christ is our most wonderful and precious example of godly beauty. He served others and never himself. In fact, the Bible stresses he was not of any physical excellence. Isaiah 53:2 says, "no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him." Yet, with his lack of physical beauty, David recognized the TRUE beauty the Lord claims. May we all join David in saying,

"One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell
in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the
Lord And to meditate in His temple." Psalm 27:4

Teach Them Diligently Review

I just finished my newest read, a book entitled, Teach Them Diligently: How to Use the Scriptures in Child Training, by Lou Priolo. Overall, I encourage parents to read this book, especially the second half of it.

I was a bit discouraged in the first chapter of Mr. Priolo's book. We all know the power of scripture, but we also know that scripture is not an end in itself. I disagreed with Mr. Priolo on the ability to be saved and sanctified without scripture. He took the stance that you CANNOT reach salvation without reading the Bible and the Holy Spirit cannot work in you without scripture to be its tool. I completely agree that the Spirit uses the Word to train and convict us, but I do not think it is limited useless without the Bible. God uses people, situations, and prayer to sanctify us. Christians need to use scripture, but it is not the ONLY means. I also believe that people can be saved by hearing about their sin and need for a perfect Savior without reading about it. Think of all the missions that have happened before Bibles were translated to the language of the people in which missions were happening. Again, the perfect situation is to use scripture to talk about sin, repentance, faith and trust in the Lord. However, God is not limited to only the use of the Bible.

Once you get past these issues, however, the book is an effective tool to inspire more use of the scripture in your communication--both encouragement and discipline--with your child. I was pleasantly surprised that, after my wariness in chapter 1, he did not legalistically mandate the steps of discipline to follow by the letter. He gave great practical ideas, but he gave principles on how to do a family Bible study, how to apply scripture to you child's issues, how to memorize scripture with your son or daughter, and how to remove sinful behavior and replace it with godly behavior. The specifics of your practical application depend on your children, your family and what the Holy Spririt is teaching you.

I enjoyed the idea of making sure your child understands for what they will receive punishment before giving it. Also, I was intrigued with the notion that sinful habits that plague a child will need to have godly behavior substituted for them in order to stop the sin. I enjoyed his explanation of the differences between principles and commands in scripture.

However, the best part was the appendix. He lists character traits that are common sinful behavior in children (and adults) and gives scripture to reproof them. For example, if your child is responding in anger, you can use James 1:19-20 to speak to them. "Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak [and] slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God."

He also advises to have Bible study with your whole family as often as possible. You can review your child's day and use scripture to encourage or admonish choices they are making. This is also a time to memorize scripture and have deeper conversations.

The book ends with the warning that digging into and using scripture requires work. Proverbs 2:4 talks of the wisdom of scripture. It says, "If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures . . ." Mr. Priolo says the difference between gold and silver is that silver has to be laboriously mined deep in the earth, while gold is more often on the surface or in water, etc. He equates the hard work of searching for silver as to the excavation and study of the Bible.

I walked away from this book with a motivation to use many more references to scripture when talking to Carter. I also want to start memorizing scripture with him, even though it will merely be singing or listening to mommy say the verse over and over at this point. Nevertheless, the Bible is sharper than any two edged sword, and I know how powerfully it can work in and shape Carter's life.

Encourage One Another: Rebecca Millsap

For those of you just joining this blog, I have begun a weekly practice of acknowledging a person who has blessed me or others. I am relying on the command of scripture to encourage one another and build one another up. (I Thessalonians 5:11)

I have only known Rebecca Millsap well for the past year or so, but she is the kind of person with whom an impact is made upon you right away. Anyone reading this who knows Rebecca, will agree she deserves accolades. She has such a servant's heart!

To begin the list of things Rebecca does is quite an undertaking. I know I will leave something out, but here are things I have noticed. Rebecca is faithful and commited. She comes to every Women's Bible Study meeting and Thrive (marriage ministry) meeting on time and ready to help. At Women's Bible Study, she organizes all the prayer requests, sending out e-mail prompts every week. She then accumulates every prayer request, summarizes them and sends them to the group. In addition, she organized all the mom's Wednesday morning get togethers this summer--sending out directions, ideas and reminders.

Rebecca has, out of her own initiation, started the monthly tradition of organizing "moms' night out". She sends out e-vites, makes sure the invite list goes to any mom she can think of to include and attends the events with a smile. It is such a treat to get together with other moms from church and enjoy time without the kiddies. This would never happen without Rebecca.

At Thrive, she was always early to allow her husband to play on the worship team. This caused her to have to watch her 1 and a half year old while trying to help set up and eat dinner. She also worked in the Toddler room every other Thursday, a job that was thankless and hard. She and her husband are going to be group leaders at Thrive next year, AND she has commited to being in charge of the CARE ministry for Thrive--a job at which she will excel. She has already looked into sending flowers, buying cards and creating a meals ministry.

Rebecca helps out with the Navigating Motherhood ministry at church. Last year, when it was MOPS, she worked in childcare every Friday. She didn't say, " I already have a toddler. I need a ministry where I am not working with kids." Many women enjoyed MOPS because it was serving AND an opportunity to fellowship and take a breather from the kids. Rebecca sacrificially served without getting a break or allowing herself chat time with the other women. She is helping witness to others and bring them to Navigating Motherhood by handing out flyers at malls, the theaters or, even, swim lessons. She uses every opportunity to reach out to others.

Rebecca has served in children's ministries for over a year, helping out in the nursery and toddler room. She always did this with a good attitude and little complaining. She FINALLY allowed herself a break from this to allow rest before her second chld and new son, Christian, is born in 8 weeks.

Rebecca sang on the worship team at Women's Bible Study, getting there early and practicing while watching her one year old.

I know there are so many more little "unnoticed" tasks Rebecca does that I am forgetting. You can see from my list, however, she is amazing. In addition, she is a wonderful friend and sister-in-Christ. I know I can tell her anything, and she will Biblically admonish or encourage me with love. I have found a wonderful blessing in becoming her friend.

Truly Christ's love is found in her actions and attitude. I John 4:7-8 says,

"Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone who
loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He who loveth not, knoweth not God
for God is love."

Blogging on Devotions

Many people might wonder why I write both family updates and Biblical lessons in my blog. The reason I add family updates is obvious. I enjoy sharing pictures of my wonderful family, and Carter stories are usually quite entertaining. However, why do I write about the Bible or devotional books?

Well, of course I want to share what I learn in my quiet times, but it is rather more self-serving at times. When I blog about scripture, sermons or Christian books, I am able to better digest the message and application of the lesson that I am learning. A quote from Henry Scudder's The Christian's Daily Walk in Holy Security and Peace states,

"Merely reading, hearing and having transient thoughts of biblical truths do not
leave half that impression of goodness upon the soul, which they would do, if
they might be recalled, and fixed there by serious thought. Without this
meditation, the good food of the soul passes through the understanding, and
therein is quite lost. It is like raw and undigested food, which does not
nourish those creatures that chew the cud until they have retrieved it back and
chewed it better . . . Meditation digests, engrafts, and turns the spiritual
knowledge gained from God's Word . . . into the very life and substance of the
soul, changing and transforming you according to it."

This sums up nicely what I am able to do by writing down thoughts and conclusions on Bible study. I pray that you find my musings Biblical and helpful in spurring your own thought.

How can comfort be uncomfortable?

We had a guest speaker at church yesterday. Pastor Kurt Gebhards, from Grace Community Church, spoke on the need to be serving the church community if you are a genuine believer. He had a great message, but two points resonated in my own heart.

The first point he made that struck me that morning was that service and ministry are gifts from God. God never had to allow us to supply for the needs of others. He could have done it all Himself. However, God knew that it would bless us and give us eternal rewards if we were able to work for His kindgdom.

Of course, we know that salvation cannot be earned or bought by our deeds. Only Christ's sacrifice is sufficient for our sin. The act of service is, as Pastor Kurt put it, a natural partner with salvation. It is the fruit we bear when God has redeemed us!

This was a wake-up call for me that morning. I serve in some areas that are easier or harder than others. One area in which I do minister that is not my particular FAVORITE is working in the nursery second service at church. It is always the most crowded, the babies all need naps at that time, and I am tired from dealing with Carter. However, I KNOW God wants me to still do this job with a joyful attitude. I am ALLOWED, by Him, to truly sacrifice my time and energy to do a thankless job that most people avoid. I certainly have NOT had a good attitude about it many weeks, so I had to change my attitude. Guess what? The nursery that morning was so much easier. Though I had a crying baby in my arms that needed to go down for a nap, the difference was my attitude. I saw the work as a privelege and a way to glorify God!

Pastor Kurt's second point was on comfort. He reminded us that comfort is a curse, not a blessing. What I found humorous was that I had just had a similar discussion with Ryan. We had been driving down Niguel Road to Salt Creek Beach to have a picnic dinner. After coasting past the St. Regis Resort and parking by the Ritz Carlton, we were laughing at how insanely out of focus all our ideas are when we think about the normal income and the normal material needs of the average family.

I remember saying to Ryan that one of the particular temptations that we have, as Christians in Orange County, is materialism and comfort that goes with riches. If we lived in the countryside of Oklahoma, for instance, our temptations would be different. God doesn't want us to idolize riches or comfort. He isn't concerned with whether or not we can look "put-together" walking in the mall or whether our television is HD compatible. As Christ told the disciples in Matthew 19:24,

"Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle
than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Why is this true? A rich man has to give up something he has--comfort and security--and replace it with the attitude of "whatever you want, Lord." A poor man doesn't have to make as many possible sacrifices in material idols.

Ryan and I don't want to love comfort. We want to seek God. Sometimes God blesses us with comforts, but many times He requires sacrifice. Ryan and I want to hear,

"Well done, good and faithful servant!" (Matthew 25:23)

Whether it comes to serving sacrificially in an area that is far from comfortable or having a lifestyle that is willing to give up comforts for God, we need, as Christians, to never seek comfort. Ask God for His provision, and He will fill you up. His grace is sufficient.