I am on the last chapter of Martha Peace's Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face. I loved her book, The Excellent Wife, so I knew she wouldn't disappoint me in this second book. I have found gems of information and accountability in every chapter, but one that hit home for me was Who is the Fairest of them all?--Vanity.
The word "vanity" often conjures up images of 20 something girls applying lipstick in a rearview mirror of their car, only to emerge from their vehicle with a skimpy outfit, high heels and a "notice me" attitude. Movie stars, elective cosmetic surgery, fashion magazines and fashion models fit into our concept of vanity. Men with pumped up arms and fancy cars can symbolize vanity. However, though these extremes are agreeably vain in many instances, we are looking too far from home for our examples.
I believe almost every person, especially in Orange County, suffers from a struggle with vanity. You might not believe you are beautiful, but a preoccupation with wishing you were thinner or had a prettier face or owned more fashionable clothes certainly qualifies as vanity. Martha Peace defines vanity as "empty, vain, or worthless. Vanity (in the sense of the love of beauty) is an inflated pride in one's appearance." Pride in your appearance doesn't mean you have to love how you look, it just means you care too much about HOW you look.
Scripture has quite a bit to say on vanity. Proverbs 31:30 says,
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, sheI Peter 3:3-4 joins by stating,
shall be praised."
"Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing goldWith an ugly metaphor in mind, Proverbs 11:22 quips,
jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let the hidden person of the heart, with the
imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the
sight of God."
"As a ring of gold in a swine's snout so is a beautiful woman who lacks
discretion."
Surely there is no sin in putting yourself together, wearing some makeup and taking care of yourself. Where sin enters is in the motivation and the priority these activities take in your life. Are you going to the gym to lose fat so that you will be as skinny as you were or as so-and-so is, or are you going to the gym to lose fat so that you can please your husband and look your best for him? Perhaps you are dieting to gain self-control over food and overcome a sinful area of your life. Maybe you are merely dieting to lose 3 more pounds and be that "perfect" size 4. The first motivation might be right, but be careful it does not turn into the second motivation.
Martha gives signs of vanity in her book. Are you overly concerned with how you look--you wonder what people are thinking or saying about you? Do you find yourself critical of every spot and wrinkle? Are you unable to graciously receive compliments? Do you feel depressed or anxious because you feel or are "fat?" Do you have an unhealthy quest for thinness? Do you overspend on clothes, hair, makeup, and accessories? Do you compare yourself to others and how they look? You can say "I look so much better than so-and-so," or "I wish I looked like her. She has lost so much weight." Do you say things to elicit compliments from others? Do you refuse to have sex with your husband because you feel fat? Do you find yourself apologizing for how you look if you aren't totally put together? These are all signs of vanity that Mrs. Peace lists.
Why do we care so much about being perfect in our appearance? Our bodies are decomposing shells that will, inevitably, look less perfect each day. Our hope and glory should be in pleasing our Heavenly Father and demonstrating the quiet and gentle spirit that God adores. Do you spend more time on appearance than on Bible study, prayer and church activities? Are you grateful and content with what God has given you or are you unsatisfied and sinning in your attitude?
Finally, Martha Peace suggests replacing the vain actions in our life with serving others. Christ is our most wonderful and precious example of godly beauty. He served others and never himself. In fact, the Bible stresses he was not of any physical excellence. Isaiah 53:2 says, "no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him." Yet, with his lack of physical beauty, David recognized the TRUE beauty the Lord claims. May we all join David in saying,
"One thing I have asked from the Lord, that I shall seek: That I may dwell
in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the
Lord And to meditate in His temple." Psalm 27:4
5 comments:
This is something we definitely all struggle with -- especially in orange county. I like the point that we don't have to necessarily like how we look -- just desire to look better -- that can be the basis of sin
Last Sunday's Speaker used a truism in his introduction that I have heard used in the past in a slightly different way. It goes like this, "Your thoughts produce your actions which, in turn, produce your character." Paul addressed this issue, among several others, in his letter to the Philippians. Paul realized the strength of our thoughts as he was exhorting the believers in Philippi. He ends his exhortations in chapter four with these words in verse eight, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." He is, no doubt, not focusing on human, physical beauty with the admonition to think on "whatever is lovely." When we mentally focus on physical beauty in an on-going basis, we are stunting our spiritual growth and building a character that is not glorifying to the Lord. Although God created the world and the beauty in it, human and otherwise, we are worshipping the creation, not the Creator when we focus on physical beauty. The result of right thinking is Godly actions and Godly Character. Paul also tells us that the result of right thinking is the peace of God. Worrying about physical beauty is not peaceful, but rather anxiety inducing. This sin is not limited to the young. I know because at sixty-two, I have to continually pray for God's focus as the world tries to sudduce me into thinking that I must stray young and beautiful at all costs with the lure of this diet, that outfit, this plastic surgery, etc. To use a cliche, "when all is said and done," a Godly, peace-filled heart is what I truly want. Solomon in Ecclesiastes stated it differently, but basically said that constantly pursuing beauty or anything else in this world is futile and without reward as it will all be destroyed in the end. Only our faith in and service for God is lasting.
Chiara...your blog is so awesome to read and so inspiring! God has truly given you a heart for him and it is so evident in the very little time I have known you!
Chiara, this is an amazing post, so true and so convicting. I agree that we all struggle with vanity in some way. As I read your post I thought of Paul's Colossians 3 admonition for us to set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.
My favorite line you wrote said--"He served others and never himself." Thanks for that motivation at the end of a convicting look into the mirror of truth!
My goodness! You read a LOT of books. I wish I was motivated to read like you do!!!
I loved this quote from your blog! Do you spend more time on appearance than on Bible study, prayer and church activities? That's definitely something to think about!
It's easy not to be vain right now since my belly grows bigger daily! My struggle will be being happy with what I look like AFTER the baby comes!!!
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