Carter in August

Feminine Appeal: The Honor of Working at Home

I have been reading Feminine Appeal, by Carolyn Mahaney. In reading the sixth chapter, entitled The Honor of Working at Home, I found that her book exposed feelings that I wasn't aware I had. I truly recognize the error of feminism and the fundamental problem of denying the biblical mandate for submission from women. I understand that being at home with Carter is a wonderful honor, but a selfish side of me has secretly missed the prideful recognition I got at work.




I'm an achievement driven individual. In school I aimed for straight A's. At work, I was concerned with accolades, awards and my reputation at the school at which I taught. Even with my need for these trivialities, I understand that pride is the sin that yearns for such things.




Carolyn reminded me of whom I ought to please through my job as a homemaker. First and foremost, I am to please God. I am doing all things for His glory, and I should know His grace is sufficient for me. (II Corinthians 12:9) No matter what my circumstances, I am to be obedient and loving. Kindly and graciously, God has given us earthly benefits for our service too. All the wonderful blessings that come with working at home are often foggy in the middle of a tough day. Here is a little reminder if you are finding today a particularly difficult leg of your race. I hope the following quote blesses you and gives you joy if you are facing a particularly hard day.




This excerpt is a little long, but it certainly is worth the read. On pages 114-115, she says,

"When I reflect upon my past twenty-nine years as a homemaker, a virtual
collage of memories floods my mind: Family Night every Monday.
Reading with my husband by the fire. Tucking my children into bed at
night with a song and a prayer. Waking them up for a surprise "pajama
ride" to Dunkin' Donuts. Reading Little House on the Prairie to my
daughters or Paddington Bear to my little boy.
Counseling a newly wed couple through their first disagreement.
Evenings of fellowship, food, and laughter with friends. Throwing a baby
shower for my unsaved neighbor. Extending hospitatlity to overnight
guests. Praying with other women in my living room.
Long talks with C.J. over a cup of coffee. Enjoying sweet forgiveness
after resolving a family conflict. Extending family dinnertime
conversations. Sharing with our children the good news of Jesus
Christ.
And I'll never forget this memory: I was standing at my kitchen sink,
washing the breakfast dishes, when Chad entered the room. He was only four
years old at the time, and he began running in little-boy circles in front of the
refrigerator. He was singing a song he'd made up, and it went like
this: "You're the best mommy in the whole world! You're the best
mommy in the whole world!"
Though his song had only this one refrain, he continued for a full five
minutes. I stood there with the dirty dishes, watching my son and
thinking, I have the BEST JOB in the whole world!
My hope for this chapter is that as a fellow homemaker, you too will
agree."

I weep when I read these words, because I know how true they are in my home. There is nothing better than Carter, in his one and a half year old manner, running his crooked gallop straight to me, hugging my legs tightly, looking right up to me and smilingly and joyfully exclaiming, "Momma!" This is how he says, "I love you," and it is better than any teaching award or perfect report card I could ever receive.

Modesty Matters

For a biblical look at modesty and women's attire, take a look at this post on Pastor Dale's blog:

Foundation for Faith: Like it or Not: The Way We Dress Matters

The Delight of Loving my Husband

God has graciously provided me with a very thoughtful husband. He listens intently to my likes and dislikes, fears and dreams, and struggles and victories. I often am blessed by his sacrifice. I might awake to find a sweet note commenting on an earlier conversation, or I find much needed time for prayer since he took our toddler down for breakfast as I finish my quiet prayer time.

A friend just told me that her acquaintances were mocking her for the strength and sweetness of her marriage. They laughed and made comments such as, "Just wait. He won't be bringing flowers home in a few years." Another chided that the romantic part of marriage is only for newlyweds and you just settle into a comfortable/thoughtless routine over the years. This was spoken at a church meeting!

Titus 2 certainly disputes the unwise words of these women, and I hope we see the error and sin if we have let our marriages become unloving and unthoughtful. I am reading Feminine Appeal, by Carolyn Mahaney, and she tackles this very topic in chapter 2, entitled The Delight of Loving my Husband. Titus 2:3-5 says,

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves
to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women
to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at
home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not
be reviled."

These verses describe a high calling, but one that God so graciously provides in model to us. As we become closer and closer to Him, our sanctification should create MORE unity and MORE love in our marriages. Our desire to serve and encourage in love should outweigh our need to be served and loved.

Mrs. Mahaney brings up a very interesting point about the Greek used for the word "love" in Titus 2. When the Bible gives directives to women, it uses the word phileo. This type of love is passionate, affectionate, joyful and tender. The men are given the word "agape" when directed to love. This word, agape, is more of a love of sacrifice and service. Mahaney explains,

"I believe that Scripture's specific commands to husbands and wives regarding
their duties in marriage attest to our respective weaknesses. Men may be
weaker in showing sacrificial love and are therefore exhorted to undertake
it. But I believe women are generally weaker in exhibiting an affectionate
love--thus the instructions given to us in Titus 2. In fact, women will
often continue to sacrifice and serve their husbands even if all tender feelings
for them have subsided." (pg. 34)

This is so true for me! I can easily make dinner, clean house and tend to Carter with a bad heart or attitude. What is harder for me is to be joyful, loving and affectionate as I serve!

What happens to our affections? Why do we start to be bitter or self-centered? We allow sin to take root in our hearts and eat away at the godly love we should demonstrate. So easily we can pinpoint our husbands' weaknesses, but we need to focus on the gifts they possess. A Biblical focus and thankfulness are thoughts that can replace any sinful tendencies of anger, hate, slander or bitterness. This is not to say that we cannot Biblically admonish sin, but flaws or habits that just personally rub us the wrong way are not to be highlighted.

To be direct, who are we to nag our husbands and roll our eyes at their imperfections? Goodness! We too quickly forget who we are without the grace of God. Charles Spurgeon is quoted in this chapter and puts it well. He says,

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and he therefore does not
expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks ten
thousand of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in
his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and,
therefore, he is not disppointed when he does not find it."

We need to see our husbands in the same light we see ourselves--fallen sinners in need of a gracious and merciful Savior. Our patience will vastly improve when we recall how much we need forgiveness and understanding for our own flaws!

Marriage should not just become a union of duty. It should be marked by joy and adoration for one another. Our sense of forgiveness from God should create a heart of thankfulness and not one of expectation and entitlement. Cultivating such a marriage takes work and a Godward focus in your union. If anything, such investment and biblical truth should make your marriage better and better with each passing year. The immature facade of love, that can appear strong in an early relationship, will strengthen and increase with the mortar and brick of a relationship built on Christ.

Encourage One Another: George Igawa

John 13:14-17-- "Now that I, your lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."


It's time for our I Thessalonians 5:11 Wednesday! In the spirit of that verse, each week I pick a person who has obediently blessed others in some way and encourage him or her in these actions. Many of you will immediately recognize the name of my person this week: George Igawa. Romans 15: 17 best summarizes George's perspective on serving others.

"Therefore I glory in Christ Jesus in my service to God."

I picked George Igawa because he is an obedient and willing vessel for the Lord, yet he flies under the radar for many people. You can find George doing anything from preparing and giving a sermon to blowing leaves off the parking lot early before church services. On Thursday evenings, you might spot a glimpse of George as he runs from room to room trouble shooting and happily setting up the requests for all the ministries that night. In fact, if there is a need, you will often find George filling that need with his mostly unrecognized service.





In co-leading the Thrive ministry, we often have requests for the church, and George, being the adult Bible studies director, gets to hear about our emergencies and requests the most often. He has graciously stepped in at Thrive and blessed us with teachings on numerous occasions. Last year, we had a last minute cancellation, and George had to prepare and give a teaching to the group with only one day of preparation. This weekend, as always, George had a ministry table elegantly set up for our group sign-ups, and even moved us to a different location (upon request) with nary a word.





What I most appreciate about George is his intense love for the Lord and the humility that results from his thankfulness to his Savior. He is beyond bold in his accolades for Jesus Christ and the spotlight is never on himself. In fact, this post will most likely be uncomfortable for him. I know he is merely being obedient as a child and servant of God, but I want to encourage George that he is doing an outstanding job and is a positive example to many of the flock. I am thankful for all he does to serve Christ's church, and I am happy to acknowledge such a humble and active soldier in God's army!

John 13 :15 "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done
for you."