Never in my life have I been accused of being outgoing. Since I was little, everyone who knew me was aware that I was shy and reserved. Teachers would always tell my parents I needed to participate more in class and talk more in general. As I have gotten older, I have gotten a little bit better about talking with others, but I still am not comfortable at all when I am around a new group or person.
I was reminded of this at a recent Women's Bible Study training. It was a meet and greet, and I knew two of the women out of the whole forty or so in attendance. I could only say hello to the two women I knew for so long before my company became more leechish than amusing. Pretending to be busy sipping my water as if it were going out of syle, I could feel the panick begin. I quickly scoured the room and tried to find a corner in which to hide. It was a very uncomfortable situation until we all sat in a circle to talk to one another. If the time is set aside for organized speaking, I am fine talking. It is impromptu conversation that sends me running.
As I was growing up, my mother wisely told me that shyness is selfish. When you are shy, you care more about your own comfort in a situation than the politeness of putting others at ease by speaking to them. I heard this again recently in a child training discussion. The leader reminded us that overly sensitive/ shy children have a sin issue of pride/selfishness. They are more concerned with their own well-being and others' perception of them than the thoughtfulness of talking to others and being warm in conversation. In fact, I was told a few times growing up that people thought I was "stuck up" until they got to know me. They didn't realize I was shy and really did want to know them. Once they realized I was more than willing to be a friend, the lack of smiles and conversation they witnessed earlier were forgiven.
Truly, if you can sympathize with me in being shy, you must realize that God wants us to care more about others than ourselves. Shyness is not an excuse. It can be a sin if you let it get in the way of witnessing, bringing others to church, and just being loving to others. Philippians 2:3 is one of my favorite verses. It says,
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility considerI try to recite this verse when I am in a new situation. Walking up and introducing myself is painful for me, but it is something God requires that I do. When I truly care more about you than myself, I don't think twice about smiling and speaking.
others better than yourselves."
Imagine if Christ had used shyness as an excuse during His ministry. How ridiculous and disobedient that would have been. Instead, he approached all kinds of people, regardless of the ridicule or reaction He might face. He loved others more than himself. John 13:34-35 tells us,
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved
you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you
are my disciples, if you love one another."
If you find yourself shy as a violet, and you are a follower of Christ, remember that you are the branches of the Vine. Cling to the vine of God Himself and know that branches are made to grow, reach and aggressively bear fruit. No wallflower, concerned with only himself, can do that.
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him,
he will bear much fruit. Apart from Me you can do nothing."
John 15:5
4 comments:
I never thought about it that way, but its a great point. A lot of times reaching out to people is hard. We're tired or shy or whatever. But God calls us to love one another. And you can't do that if you don't build relationships
I do remember you being quiet in high school but never thought you were stuck up. I kind of wondered what was going on in your head though. I think it was your beauty and your quietness that made girls (I'm sure guys didn't even notice you were quiet) think you were stuck up. Girls are so catty! What's funny is that I can relate to all that you said even though most people are shocked when I try to tell them that I am shy around people I don't know. I've been told many times that people thought I was rude because I didn't talk when they were first around me. So, stuck up or rude, that's how we have been perceived and that makes me sad because I know that God has gifted us to love others. From here on out, if I'm at an event w/ you, we can stick together and help each other reach out more. What do you say? =-) Oh,and my BIGGEST problem is being HORRIBLE at small talk. That's what I fear the most and where my shyness jumps right in. Dale's hint: Ask people questions about themselves because people love to talk about themselves. Ha! It works!
What a beautiful thought to ponder on today..I love it! As I was taking Cameron to his first day of kindergarten, I was thinking of this. What makes some kids shy and others so outgoing. I sat in the corner and watched as my usual outgoing son, sat quiety in the corner just looking around. Thank you for giving me a wonderful opportunity to teach him about Christ tonight, I will definately use this as one of those "teachable" moments. PS I felt the same way you did on Tuesday, I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one :-) Thanks for talking to me!!
After reading your post I have to say that I am quite honored. You have done a great job reaching out to me and getting to know me...although our blogs do help! :-) I love that you reminded me that we are to not only remain in him but allow for him to remain in us!
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