Purity: A Proactive Pursuit in Marriage

I Thessalonians 4:1-8
Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

We continue to study the book of I Thessalonians in Thrive, our marriage ministry at Compass Bible Church. Ryan is speaking to the group this week about the commands and instructions of I Thessalonians 4: 1-8. Much of the passage speaks about sexual purity and self control.

Many young couples do not entertain the idea that an affair or temptation could fall into the lap of their marriage. However, this is exactly what Satan hopes our attitude becomes--ignorant complacency. The Bible knew that everyone is capable of falling into sexual impurity, and it gives instructions on staying pure in many different scriptures. For example, all of Proverbs 5 gives warning to the folly of adultery.

Early on in our marriage, Ryan and I had a discussion about "red flag" situations. We made a contract with specific boundaries that are to keep us from entering into dangerous situations. Ryan communicated his promises to his accountability partners, and they hold him to his contract with me. For example, at work, Ryan will never close his office door when he has a female meeting with him. He also will never take a female co-worker out to lunch alone. There are more rules we have set, which are specific to our lives and work/home situations.

For me, being at home with Carter, I have very different guidelines I have set. For instance, I will watch my wardrobe attire, so as to never invite sin into another's thoughts. When I have a male workman in my home, I leave the door open and I always call Ryan while the worker is there--even if I just leave a message on his phone at work.

Together, we try to weed sexual impurity out of our home entertainment. We read about movies before viewing them and, as one guideline, we do not watch any movies with nudity or "adult situations." The books I read should never be graphic romance novels, and Ryan won't be found reading the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition. Ryan also has given his accountability partners access to view what websites he visits on his computer. I also am in an accountability group, where I can honestly express any struggles and be held to the standard God commands.

Though none of these boundaries I have listed are earth shattering, it is surprising how few couples take the time to discuss this problem honestly and to set up guidelines to prevent those "red flag" situations.

How about you and your spouse? What safeguards have you set in order to obey God's command for purity? What items in your wardrobe might need to be tossed? What television shows have a pattern of sexual promiscuity and flippancy and shouldn't be watched? What guidelines will you choose in deciding on your next movie? What magazines in your periodical pile are maybe not honoring and glorifying to God and respectful to your spouse? I urge you to take the time to think about these possible impurities with your spouse. Make a contract to proactively and purposefully pursue purity in your marriage (Wow! That is a lot of 'p' words!). Reread verse 7 and 8 of I Thessalonians 4 and ponder whether or not God is very serious about this area of obedience.